Mental Health

Prepping for that “First Date” Conversation

By January 26, 2016 No Comments

So you’re finally on a date with the person you’ve fancied for a while, the pressure to impress is on and suddenly you’re tongue-tied. What to do?!

Having a pre-prepared list of things to talk about really helps. Even if you don’t end up using it, just knowing it’s there will give you peace of mind. If need be, you can surreptitiously consult it under the table, pretend you’ve just received an urgent message while actually checking the memo you wrote yourself on your phone, or worst case scenario, visit the bathroom and do some deep breathing while you run your eye over it.

These are some of the things you might have on it:

Ask a question

People who are good listeners and who know how to draw information out of others are often considered great conversationalists. Try asking something like:

  • What are your plans for the weekend/holidays?
  • What do you plan to do when you’ve finished studying?
  • What do you dream of doing one day?
  • What makes you laugh?
  • What’s your favourite food?
  • What are some of your all-time favourite movies/series?
  • Where did you grow up?
  • Is there anyone in particular who has had a big influence in your life?
  • Do you have any favourite sports or hobbies?

Let your date see who you are

To avoid sounding like you’re interrogating your date, be sure to share information about yourself too. Once they’ve answered a question, give your perspective on it. This also uncovers what you have in common, and you may even come up with new ideas together. If your date seems shy to initiate questions, you could ask them what they’d like to know about you.

What NOT to talk about

Some subjects should be parked for much later on in a relationship (if at all). For example:

  • The terrible break-up you had with your ex
  • What an awful person your ex is
  • What you’re really, really stressed about
  • The weird rash you have
  • What kind of wedding you want
  • What you plan to name the kids you have together

Your primary aim for a first date should be to get to know enough about your companion to get a feel for whether you’d like a second one. Either way, try to show interest in your date, which will help them to have a good time, regardless of whether you end up dating further, becoming friends or never seeing each other again.

Leave a Reply