Conflict ResolutionMental Health

Managing The Green-Eyed Monster

By Jul 26, 2016 No Comments

Everyone feels jealous of others at some time or another and that’s quite natural. After all, there’s always going to be someone more popular, more attractive, smarter or with more stuff than us. It becomes a problem though when we’re so focussed on what they have and we don’t, that it interferes with the way we live our life or starts to cause problems in our relationships.

Luckily there are ways to manage jealousy:

Watch your reactions

When we feel jealous, we tend to want to hit back at the person we’re jealous of. This can be extremely damaging to our relationships. Rather try to take a step back and get some distance if you can, while you work through what’s going on for you. If you can manage it before you retreat, actually complimenting them on what you admire can make you feel surprisingly good.

Become aware

When you start feeling angry, resentful or as thought you’re just not good enough in comparison to someone else, recognise that most of those feelings are generated by a belief that you hold. They usually come from a sense of insecurity or a skewed perspective. Try to identify exactly what it is you’re jealous of, and what belief lies beneath that.

Use the clue

That jealous feeling is giving you a clue about something you’d like for yourself. So start thinking about what you’d need to do to achieve that. This is a doubly positive approach as it spurs you on to put in place action steps that move you towards that goal. It also gives you a better appreciation of what may have gone into getting there for the person you’re jealous of, or what they’ve had to give up in the process.

Appreciate what you have

Often we’re so busy envying what someone else has that we forget to appreciate what we have ourselves. Take some time to write down all the things you love about yourself and your life. You may even notice things you have on your list that the person you’re jealous of doesn’t. Everyone is unique, and if you focus on what you have, rather than what you don’t, you’ll feel happier and attract more good things into your life.

Don’t let jealousy ruin your life. Take action on it now so you can focus on being as happy – and as authentically you as possible.

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