Mental Health

Learning to Speak the Languages of Love

By Sep 15, 2016 No Comments

It’s human nature that we assume everyone is the same as us and therefore values the same things. So when we care about someone, we do for them what we’d like them to do for us. The truth though is that we’re all unique and appreciate different things. If we can identify the love language of our loved ones though, and then speak to them in that language, rather than our own, our relationship can only grow closer. To get an idea of what the different love languages love, do this quiz.

Once you think you know what your loved one’s language is, try some of these ideas:

Receiving Gifts

  • Take them something small related to an interest of theirs, like a magazine or useful tool
  • Give them a “survival kit” during a difficult time, filled with small goodies to help them make it through
  • Have a simple item personalised for them, like a t-shirt or coffee mug

Quality Time

  • Do a mundane task together so you can chat while you do it – this is a double bonus, as you’ll get it done and get to bond at the same time
  • Explore some interesting sights in your neighbourhood together
  • Invite them out for coffee and/or a meal somewhere quiet, where you can talk

Acts of Service

  • Offer to make them a cup of tea or coffee whenever you’re making one
  • Prepare a meal from scratch, from shopping for and cooking it, through to doing the washing up
  • Help them with a project they are busy with (just ask them first)

Physical Touch

  • Sit close to them, preferably touching, while you talk or watch a movie or TV
  • Take their hand if you have something important to say to them
  • Enthusiastically high-five or fist-bump them when something amazing happens

Words of Affirmation

  • Tell them something you love about them
  • Make a point of thanking them for doing something they regularly do without appreciation
  • Use their name often when you speak to them

You’ll probably find that when you think about it, you already know what your loved one enjoys. If not, try a few different options and pay attention to how they respond. If they seem super-pleased, you’ll know you’re on the right track. If not, try another option and don’t worry, they’ll probably appreciate the gesture anyway.

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