Parents – Handling the stress levels of your “flown and grown” student

By Jun 7, 2017 No Comments

Have you ever felt like the ground beneath your feet keeps trying to give in? While this may sound like a gross exaggeration, it’s the reality of several “flown and grown” students all over the country and world at large.

Preparing for exams, trying to get (or retain) good grades, maintain a decent social life and nurturing relations are just some of the many challenges facing students.

There’s also the direct pressure that their academic results today can affect their career path for most of their adult life. The underlying belief is that students in this phase of life should have it figured out and be ready to make decisions with lifelong consequences.

The often untold truth is that with all the stress, pressures and raging hormones of youth, “flown and grown” students seldom have it all together. It can be downright crippling without adequate support.

The newly found freedom can lead to unbound opportunities or catastrophic results. If ever your teen needed you, it is now. Here’s how to get it right and ease the pressures where they need it most.

Practice makes perfect… Or does it, really?

There’s this notion that “if you work at it day and night, give it your all, get extra lessons, consult tutors and do the whole shebang, then you will finally get it”.

Stop it! You could be pushing your young student to a level of incompetence. Not every teen is wired to crack Einstein’s code. Yours could be a creative Picasso in the making, but your desire to raise a doctor adds to their stress and frustration.

It’s amazing what youngsters will do to make those they love proud; this can include relinquishing their God given talents and passions to pursue social ideals. Rather encourage your young adult to pursue their natural passions and guide them to refine their gift, study it and be the very best that they were born to be. It will reassure them in being true to themselves, that they are enough.

Not all that glitters is gold

Sometimes it’s very simple. Their natural inclinations, what they love doing and excel at with ease; that seemingly insignificant thing is most likely the treasure that you need to help them locate and polish. Society identifies the “gold” as certain tried and tested career paths.

Remember a fish in water swims seamlessly. A bird in the air glides effortlessly. A bug in sand does not suffocate, but intuitively navigates skilfully. Help your student find – and master – their dominion. Their natural abilities and likes, that shining passion, that’s actually gold.

The wheel turns…

There’s a misconception that if you stick it out, you will eventually like it and/or get used to it. That in order to be the best, it’s “normal” to let your career drain out the life in you because you will make money and in so doing obtain happiness.

The wheel doesn’t always turn. If your young adult doesn’t like their prospective career path today, chances are they will hate every moment of it 20 years from now. Forcing him or her into a wrong career path for job security or an esteemed title creates undue stress (there’s that word again!).

Does your child know the ins and outs of video games? They can be the next game architect or graphic designer to capture that billion dollar gaming market. Are they in touch with feelings and love pets? You could be sitting with a really great potential pet psychologist.

Encourage your offspring to balance work and play, innate inclinations and passions; that in itself will help ease their stress levels.

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