Isn’t it strange how easy it is to be nice to others but sometimes it’s so hard to be nice to ourselves? Especially when things aren’t going well, we tend to focus on what we need to do better. That’s certainly part of it, but it can make a big difference to our perspective if we also take some time to think about what we’re already doing well.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Notice how far you’ve come
Think back to where you were in your life 5 years ago…
Now think back to 2 years ago…
And now just 1 year ago…
Can you see how much you’ve learned and grown? Maybe the changes are internal or maybe they’re external – it doesn’t matter. The point is to spot the difference.
Now look at your daily life and give yourself credit for the person that you are now and for all the small (and big) things you do, for yourself and for others. For example:
Think about the ways you look after yourself
Do you feed yourself well? Do you exercise in a way you enjoy? Do you give yourself time out? Do you keep your living space clean? Do you remember to ask for help when you need it?
Think about how you contribute to the lives of the people around you
Do you respect the views and feelings of others? Are you there for your family and friends? Are you a good listener? Do you occasionally make meals for your housemates? Do you give time or money to a charity?
What’s important to you may not even be on this list, but you get the idea. And if you’ve really thought long and hard about it, and you still feel that you’re not doing anything you deserve credit for, then pick one or two things from the list, or anything else that comes to mind, and focus on getting yourself to a point where you can give yourself credit for them.
Tick them off on your fingers, in your head or write them down, but make sure you acknowledge the many ways in which you’re doing well. Remind yourself that you are a worthwhile person, and that you are moving forward, no matter what else might be going on in your life!!
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