If we didn’t all feel jealousy at some point in our lives, we wouldn’t be human. It’s natural to compare ourselves to others, whether that’s in context of a relationship, a job or any other circumstances, and sometimes we find ourselves coming up short or feeling insecure as a result. The good news is that it’s possible to learn to deal with it in a healthy way. Try these tips:
Acknowledge that feeling jealous is a ‘danger’ signal
Any danger signal generates a feeling of fear. As a result, we will generally try to defend or protect ourselves or what we see as ours. The trick though is to understand that not all danger is real – sometimes it’s just imagined. Before leaping in with both feet, first get some facts.
Speak to your partner
If you’re feeling jealous of someone who you think is trying to break up your relationship or your partner is feeling jealous of someone in your life, an open and honest conversation is the way to start. You may find the talk in itself is enough to put your mind at ease.
Respect each other’s feelings
If you’re on the receiving end of jealousy, don’t discount your partner’s feelings even if you feel they’re being ridiculous or unrealistic. Honestly examine your behaviour and imagine how you might feel if you were in their position – would you be ok with it?
Agree on some rules
If you both value and want to continue with your relationship, you may need to agree on some ground rules. For example, close relationships with friends of the opposite sex can often lead to temptation, and a feeling of secrecy around that kind of relationship is a sign that it may be headed towards more than just friendship. Unless you and your partner are both absolutely fine with it, perhaps you need to cut back on your one-on-one time spent with opposite sex friends, and rather interact with them in a group environment.
Bear in mind that if you don’t deal with the situation, there’s a good chance that your relationship may break up or get nasty. Do you care enough to try to find a solution?