Would you rather be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t rock your world than be single?
It’s true that knowing what works for us is an important part of attracting the right relationship, and yes, sometimes we learn that through bad relationships. Once we’ve learned it though, we’re one step closer to a good relationship. Of course it’s our choice whether we take that step or not.
Here’s how to do that:
The trouble with being in a sort-of-ok relationship is that it leaves no space to attract someone more compatible. The right person may even be right there but not making a move because you’re involved with someone else. If the relationship you’re in right now isn’t working for you, rather break it off, thereby making space for one that does work. Pay attention to what went wrong though, so you can learn from that and give yourself time to be comfortable with who you are again, before you jump into the next relationship.
Make a list
The process of deciding what’s really important to you in a partner (which might be different to what’s important to what you look for in a best friend) goes a long way towards finding them. Make a list of your non-negotiables using words that include you – after all it’s not just about who they are, but who you are when you’re with them. Try to stay away from subjective, surface aspects like “She’s really hot” or “He’s really rich”. Instead consider things like:
- We have fantastic chemistry
- We easily talk about anything
- We have fun and laugh a lot when we’re together
- We trust and support each other
- We allow each other to be who we are
- Now get on with your life
People who are happy with who they are and their life as a whole are far more attractive than those who desperately need someone else to make them feel good about themselves. So get to know and like yourself – and whatever you don’t like, either find a way to accept it or change it. Do things that make you happy and fulfilled, and build your circle of friends so you always feel supported and valued, regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not.
Before you know it, you’ll be attracting someone who admires who you truly are and loves you for that. And if it takes a while, at least you’ll be living a happy and full life while you wait.