From friends with benefits to hookups
Let’s talk about sex. Cause it’s a fact of life that we all like having sex, and nothing quite beats that feeling of intimate pleasure. The question is, are you all about casual hookups or are you after something more deeply emotional? Do you even know what you really want?
It’s important to find out, and equally important to communicate your expectations. Not doing so can lead to all kinds of nasty things like shattered hearts and broken friendships! We’ve broken down the pros and cons of friends with benefits, casual hookups and committed relationships to help you decide.
1. Friends with benefits
You’re already friends, and decide to take the friendship into the bedroom without the complications of an official romantic relationship.
The pros of friends with benefits
There’s no commitment which can make life seriously complicated, but you already know each other well, so there is an emotional connection. This means you’re already comfortable around them. Although you should still both get tested for STDs and practice safe sex, there’s always something inherently safer about sleeping with someone you know rather than a complete stranger.
The cons of friends with benefits
Because you already have an emotional attachment in the form of friendship, it’s highly likely that one of you will catch feelings and want something more. This is a problem if you don’t both feel the same way and it can damage your friendship, possibly irreparably.
2. Casual hookups
You meet up at a bar or using a dating app, spend the night together, then go your separate ways. You don’t have to see each other again and there’s no commitment involved.
The pros of casual sex
No commitment – which is great if your life is already busy enough with classes, work and friends and you don’t have time for a proper relationship. There’s no expectation to provide emotional support for each other, plus you’ll save money on date nights because it’s really just about the sex.
The cons of casual sex
For some people, sex creates the feeling of attachment so casual hookups may leave you feeling empty. Not to sound preachy, but even though the sex may feel good, it’s never as good as it could be with chemistry and an emotional connection. Then there’s always the risks of sleeping with a stranger – STDs and such. Always use protection and engage in safe sex, no matter what.
3. Committed relationships
You make a decision to enter into a relationship that involves both a sexual and emotional connection. You see each other regularly and spend time together, doing things that don’t always involve having sex.
The pros of committed relationships
You know that you are there for each other, not just for sex but for everyday things. This can be very comforting and help you build a strong connection with each other. You develop a deep friendship over and above your sexual relationship. A relationship can help you learn to be less selfish and be more considerate about another person’s needs.
The cons of committed relationships
Relationships take hard work and are time-consuming. Time that you would usually spend by yourself or with your friends has to be shared with your significant other. If you don’t like being tied down, a relationship is not for you because it requires being emotionally supportive and monogamous. Because there are emotions involved, there’s also the chance that someone is going to get hurt if things don’t work out.
4. Communication is key!
Whether you choose to engage in casual sex or seek out a committed relationship, it’s so important to speak about what you want and what you expect! Remember, whatever type of relationship – casual or not – there are always two people involved. It’s not just about you. Respect the other person’s feelings and be honest about what you want, so there are no misunderstandings.