Dates a few years back vs. dates today are like chalk and cheese. A lot has changed, mainly because the world around us has changed. We now have multiple ways to find partners and to interact with them, and our expectations of how a relationship proceeds are different. There’s a lot to be said for some of the old ways of doing things though:
When you’re on a date, make sure your main focus is on your date, i.e. you’re not having whole conversations online with other people at the same time. The only way you can really find out if you like someone is to get to know them, and that means paying attention to what they’re saying and doing, and responding to it in the moment.
Take things slowly
Things tend to move so fast these days that we assume relationships should too. There’s a lot to be said for taking your time to feel out whether a relationship is going to work for you, before jumping into bed together. For example, do you enjoy spending time with each other, just talking, laughing and holding hands? If anyone in the relationship is pushing too hard to take things to the next level before the other is ready, that’s a red flag.
This is really about being clear on where you stand in your relationship. Are you both still dating other people or are you monogamous? That’s not something you can assume, by the way, or that should be a guessing game. It requires an actual conversation where both of you agree that you’ll only date each other.
No matter how secure we might be in a relationship, being taken for granted is never fun. Did he pay for a meal or help you carry or fix something? Did she listen to you talk for ages or wear that outfit she knows you love? Noticing and remembering to thank your partner for the little things they do, or simply for being them, makes all the difference. It also encourages more of the behaviour you love, so it’s a win:win.
Perhaps the oldies were on to something there. Why not try putting some of their ideas into practise to see if they work for you? Who knows where it could take your relationship.